Thursday, July 24, 2008

I've got mange!

Okay, so I've had this weird rash for about 6 months now. I went to the doctor for it awhile back, and he gave me a cream to apply daily. I used the cream for about a week and then stopped. The cream burned like Hell when I applied it, so naturally I stopped using it.

So, today I had another doctor's appointment because of this weird lump I have on my inner, it's not a testicle! Even though I have imaginary balls bigger than most men, it's not a testicle! (Hee-hee...I just couldn't resist.) I've had the lump for about a year. But, now it's starting to change colors. So, I made the appointment so the doc could check it out. The doctor thinks the lump might be ringworm. Can you believe that! He asked if I had pets, and I told him that we used to. So, the doctor examined the lump and said perhaps it's ringworm. He gave me a new medication to try on the spot. He said to come back in 2 weeks for a follow up appointment. Can you believe that?! A grown 30-ish woman with possible ringworm??? What the hell??? If the cream doesn't work in 2 weeks, they might have to biopsy it.

So, after the doc looked at the lump, he noticed my rash....actually, I modeled...I mean..I showed him my various itchy spots, as I call them. I told him I've had the mange for several months now, and I told him what the previous doctor had prescribed. He was shocked by the medication I was prescribed. I told him that it burned when I applied it. Turns out that the first cream was probably making my mange/rash actually worse. It was a steroid cream that was actually making my body work harder to repair itself. What the freak??!! I guess that's why they call it "Practicing Medicine," huh?!

So, with my new creams, hopefully my mange and ringworm will clear up. Wish me luck!

(By the way, I think both of the quacks are wrong! I think I have a fatty mass tumor on my thigh...similar to what Bobo (our old Czech dog) had removed (that's what they diagnosed me with back in Texas). It's not serious; it's just there. But, for shits and giggles, I wouldn't mind it if they biopsied it. I would love to see myself as pathology.

(I know, I'm one sick little Mexican momma!)

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