Monday, November 17, 2008

Saint Weenie-san...

I have been too nice... too fucking long. I'm NOT nice, as mentioned before. Here are my actions that I feel require me to be inducted into saint-hood:

1. I bought Sister flannel long-john pajamas at the store. Then, I washed, dried, and packed them per her request. Then, I boxed them up and sent them in the mail. (Sister lives up north in Akita Prefecture.)

2. I watched Georgia Peach's kid while she pooped out another kid. Her son stayed with us for 24 hours. He peed his pants twice and crapped his pants once. And, the kid had a fever and snotty nose.

3. I drove my friend's kid to school for a month after she pooped out a kid.

4. I gave my friend Jude's old clothes. I could have sold them at a resale shop and gotten some money for them, but I didn't. Instead, I was nice and gave them away.

5. I will volunteer next week to watch about 15 screaming 2-3 year olds while their parents have a meeting about nothing.

Even though people typically don't become saints until they die, I think they need to make a special exception for me. That's right, I've been way too fucking nice! So, from now on you can just call me Ebeneezer Weenie. I'm going to walk around with my head in my ass cursing and saying naughty things. Hopefully then people won't ask me to do anything ever again.

I think being an asshole is a lot easier and doesn't require as much effort. So, asshole-ness here I come. So, if you see me around, please don't talk to me...just ignore me. And, if you do talk to me, I WILL say something obscene. So, consider yourself warned!

Just another day in Saint Weenie-san's world! (hee-hee)

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