Sunday, November 16, 2008

Only in my dreams....

So, last night I had another completely bizarre-o dream. I dreamt we were having an earthquake. Okay, not just an earthquake but the big one--the one that every one is scared shitless about...the one that changes the geography of Japan.

So, in my dream, by apartment building was shaking violently. I was scared beyond belief. I knew it was "the big one." All I could think about was saving my matter what. I guess those mommy instincts were kicking in. So, somehow I grabbed an extension cord and rapped it around us multiple times. Then, I tied it to a wooden support beam located near our entry way of our apartment. I held on to Jude for dear life. Then, we felt our building starting to collapse beneath us. While the building was shifting, I could no longer hold onto Jude. The force was just too much. But, luckily the chord I had tied to us, kept us tied together. When the building collapsed, our apartment was left pretty much intact and standing. Our apartment just kind of fell off the building but landed completely intact. It was unbelievable. As soon as the building stopped moving, I untied us, grabbed our emergency supply bags, and ran out the door. Yes, my door frame was still intact. I know, this is complete weird, but you are in my dream remember??!!

So, when we walked out, I realized the severity of the situation. Everything was on fire and people were screaming and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Jude and I had everything we needed to survive in our packs. We had water, food, clothes, flashlights, etc. We walked away from our apartment unscathed. Then, suddenly the rest of the building collapsed onto our apartment. It immediately imploded on itself. It basically disintegrated before our eyes. I grabbed Jude and our packs, and I ran as fast as I could to get away from the collapsing building and fires. I ran with him for about 2 miles until we reached a park. I collapsed on the ground and realized we were safe. Every one around us was covered in blood and hurt in some way, but we weren't. We were fine.

The next thing I remember, we were back in Texas and I was telling this story. However, no one wanted to listen to it. I was suffering from survivors guilt and no one seemed to care. I wanted to tell people the horror I saw and felt on that day, but no one wanted to hear it. Then, I woke up.

I know, I dream the most crazy, bizarre things! I'm plagued with an overstimulated mind that never rests. Sometimes I wake up exhausted from my dreams. I wish my mind would stop so I could rest. I've thought about taking drugs, but I don't like the after affects they cause. Before Jude was born, I would self medicate with alcohol, but I was getting a beer gut and stopped. Now, I just flinch, kick, shake, and talk in my sleep. Poor Husband! Sometimes he has to wake me up because he can hear me breathing hard like I'm running. Sometimes he wakes me up and I'm crying. I know, it's weird!

And, Jude is also plagued with crazy, bizarre-o dreams. He wakes up and tells me what he dreamt. Some nights he dreams about dinosaurs or Spiderman or monsters. Sometimes we can hear him talking in his sleep. I think Jude has a creative mind like me. He comes up with the craziest things. And, he loves to make up stories. I'm grateful the kid has a creative "bug" in him. But, at the same time, I feel sorry for him because he's a little weird...just like me. The kid has no chance of being normal. For that, I feel sorry for him. But, he does show the potential to be something great...maybe the next Shelley, Byron, or Tennyson. I've heard that creativity can't be taught. Either you have it or you don't. And, my kid definitely has it. But, I'm not sure if it's a plus or a minus. For me, it has given me the ability to write and play music very expressively and creatively. But, it has also plagued me with nightmares, bizarre thoughts and ideas, and a sense that I'm not like others. It's good to be different, but sometimes society looks down upon people who are "outside the box."

But, it does make for great entertainment. Doesn't it?? After all, you just spent the last 5 minutes of you life reading about me and my crazy dreams. (Hee-hee)

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