Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sex in the City Comment....don't read this if you haven't seen the movie

(Here we are at a Japanes festival. I got to wear a $20,000 kimono. Cool, huh?)

So, she marries Big at the court house wearing a vintage suit. Awesome!

Okay, so her first attempt at marriage with the giant shin-dig ended up with a jilting. It doesn't surprise me that Big didn't show up to that circus, I wouldn't have either. It seems to me that these days marriage has become more about the freaking giant ceremony than the covenant of marriage. I know we grow up with visions of princesses wearing beautiful white gowns, giant million dollar cakes and grooms wearing tuxes surrounded by their 1,000 closest friends...but I'm hear to tell you that none of that really matters!! I know some of you are plotting my death as I write these words, because you were dooped into having that massive white circus of a wedding that cost you or your family thousands of wasted dollars. In the end, what do you have to show for it??? So, you were pretty for a day and spent hours saying hello to people you hadn't seen in years that you don't really care about anyways. And, your 1,000 guests only really showed up for the free food, alcohol and cake. In my opinion, you wasted your money, time and effort. You were dooped by the bridal magazines...they showed you what they market as normal or good, and you were dooped into conforming to their standards.

I say this because my wedding at the courthouse in North Texas only cost $62.00. And, I seriously think Husband and I are the happiest couple we know...with the exception of BJ and her hubby who just welcomed their new little bundle of joy. I digress...sorry. So, husband and I eloped more than 5 years ago and we still like each other. In fact, we still love one another, and we probably love each other more now than we did then... We chose to elope because our parents had done the same over 35 years ago. My parents eloped 35 years ago and are still married....they still tolerate one another pretty well to this day...and I think they still love one another...well, I know they couldn't live without the other one, that's for sure... And, Husband's parents also eloped some 38 years ago and are still married. I'm not sure about the happily ever after part, but they are still married and also seem to tolerate one another sometimes....Husband is going to kill me for this... So, both of our parents are still together after all this time. We have both seen what it takes to make a marriage truly work. We have seen ups and downs and conflict and resolution, but most of all, we have seen how our parents loved one another when it counted. And, we have seen how love really doesn't conquer it all, but trust, friendship, communication, and hard work together can conquer it all and keep you together through all the bad stuff and good stuff. We knew when we got married that we both truly were in it for the long haul. We weren't just planning for the day, but we were planning for our lives together as husband and wife.

I'm not telling you this so you can feel bad if you did spend billions of dollars on your big day. And, I'm not telling you this to make you jealous of my cheap ass court house wedding. I'm telling you this so you can remember what love and marriage is all about. It's not about fancy crap that you rent for a day. It's about a commitment to your loved one that no matter what happens, you are in it together forever. So, if you plan on getting married soon, screw the system! Don't conform! Go to your local court house and get married there. Get married in the company of each other and no one else. Because, after all, no one really matters in your marriage but the 2 of you! Remember, what the covenant of marriage is about-- the love between 2 people that will last the test of time.

(Since Husband and I have been together, we have been to countless weddings. Most have been quite grand, with the exception of a few. In fact, most of the people we witnessed getting married aren't married anymore. There are only a handful of friends and family members that are still married. Crazy, huh?! And, we even know some folks that are still paying off their wedding even though they are now divorced. So, love your partner to depths of your soul. Love deeply and don't focus on the day. Focus on your lives together forever.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ya-Ya and Po-Po say, "It's good to know we did something "RIGHT" somewhere along the last 38 yrs! Keep up the "good work" youngest daughter and husband! AND first born!