Thursday, December 4, 2008

I'm not a vampire!

So, this morning I woke up and used the restroom as I normally do. Then, my nose itched, and I rubbed it vigorously. Suddenly, I felt something warm above my lip. At first, I thought it was snot dripping. Naturally I licked it, but it wasn't snot. It was blood. And, it wasn't dripping out...rather it was pouring out like a faucet. I grabbed some toilet paper and pinched my nose. Within minutes the toilet paper was saturated, so I grabbed more. I got off the toilet and went to the living room to see if husband was home. He wasn't. So, I went to the couch and laid down while pinching my nose. But, then the blood started to run down the back of my throat. I was forced to swallow the warm, metal tasting blood. Instantly my empty stomach started to process the blood, making weird gurgling noises.

My nose bled for about 15 minutes, filling my stomach full of blood. After my nose stopped bleeding, I got up and got Jude up for school. My stomach was upset from the mass quantity of blood inside of it. I drank some water to calm my stomach. It didn't help. Then, I ate some cereal, thinking it would absorb the blood in my stomach and stop the nausea and gurgling sound. It didn't help. Then, I burped and the taste of warm blood came up. It was disgusting. My mouth tasted like metal and blood, so I brushed my teeth.

When Jude woke up, we saw blood all over the bathroom floor, on the toilet, on the white bathroom rug, and all over my shirt and face. He immediately wanted to know the cause. He seemed intrigued by it. I cleaned up the bloody mess, and then got Jude ready for school.

My trash can is filled with bloody paper towels and toilet paper.

If a forensic team were to enter my apartment, they would probably assume someone was murdered here. The amount of blood I lost was amazing. So, I'm writing this to ensure you that I'm alive and well. So well in fact that I've already done 2 loads of laundry.

And, I have come to the realization that I could never be a vampire. The taste of blood isn't so bad. But, when you burp it up, that's just nasty!!

Just another day in Weenie's World!


dAkBaiK said...

hello :)

Weenie said...

Konichiwa! (Good afternoon!)


Sybil said...

I remember a first aid course that asked how to stop a nose bleed. Everyone came up with the usual ideas: pinching nose, stuffing kleenex up nose, tilting head back etc.etc.

All those solutions were rejected by the teacher. When he got to me I just said "I stand over the sink and let it drip". Apparently that's the right answer.

Who knew ?