Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I'm screwed and need help!

So, something happened to my computer. My laptop was sitting on the desk slightly crooked, and, well, my OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) won't allow for anything to be crooked, so I straightened it. Well, when I moved the computer one freaking centimeter, the screen changed and now everything is itty-bitty. Now, I'm trying to read text that is about Times New Roman font size 8. Yes, size 8. I can barely read it. I need effing bifocals to read what I'm writing. What the hell!

And to make matters worse, my tech support (Husband) is out of town.

Oh, I think I forgot to mention that. Did I mention that Husband is away on business and will not return until August? Did I mention that? AUGUST! Did I mention that I'm a single mom, until August, trying to juggle a 4 year old monkey, 2 part time jobs, and a useless blog. Oh wait, I guess I should stop complaining. Upon reflecting on what I just wrote, I don't really have it THAT bad. So, basically I should just shut the hell up and wait until I have something to complain about! So, back to the computer issue and my size 8 font that I can barely read. (Oh wait, I just announced that my husband will be gone for a while. I'll set up another site for all the gentlemen callers. YOU (the gentlemen callers) can e-mail me there.)

So, my computer is jacked, and I'm too ignorant to fix it. Look, I can admit I know nothing about computers. I'm sure it's quite obvious by looking at this basic, bare-bones blog. Other blogs are all high-tech with cool little gadgets, YouTube downloads, and great links to other tech savvy sites. And then there's this one. A boring, half-ass attempt at blogging with no neato-ness. Look, I can't help it that I'm computer illiterate. I grew up taking computer classes where the disk was huge, black, and floppy. In fact, when I started college, we barely had e-mail. Oh damn, I sound old!

Whatever! Can someone please help me? How do I make the font on my computer bigger? Help! HELP!

(FYI: I am not really soliciting sex on this blog! Okay, Mom! It's just a joke! So, please don't call and yell at me for being inappropriate on the blog. And that goes for PoPo (my dad), too! No yelling from PoPo about being inappropriate, after all, I got all my inappropriateness from HIS side of the family (along with the OCD and alcoholic tendencies).)


Anonymous said...

Besides, we KNOW you'd never sell it !!
( You'd be WAAAAY more likely to just get drunk and GIVE it away !! )

Big D

Weenie said...

That's right, why pay for something when you can get it for free! Just ask Husband! It only took him a slice of pie and one margarita! ;-)

(Just kidding YaYa, I was a virgin until I got married! Serioulsy, I was! In fact, I'm still a virgin!)

Uh-oh! I'm sure LoLa and Lito (Husband's parents) will be calling me now! Damn it!

Anonymous said...

If they haven't figured out their daughter( or daughter in law ) is a pervert by now, they NEVER will !!

Big D

Weenie said...

No, I know my parents know. They've always known! Husband's parents are still in denial. They hoped for more from their son!

Poor guy, he's married to me!