Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Games Women Play

Yes, I have a vagina. Thus, I am a woman; however, I don't play the stupid games most women play.

For example, here is a typical conversation between two women:

A: Hey! How are you?

B: I'm great, thanks for asking. How are you doing?

A: Oh, I'm great, but my husband has been working late a lot.

B: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. If you need anything let me know.

A. Oh, we'll manage. We always do.

B. It's good to see you.

A. It's good to see you, too. Have a great day.

Okay, here is how the conversation would go if I were in it:

A: Hey! How are you?

Weenie: Good.

A: I'm great, too, but my husband has been working late a lot.

Weenie: That sucks!

A: Oh, we'll manage. We always do.

Weenie: Maybe if your husband had a better job and more education he wouldn't have to work late all the time. Wait! Are you sure he's working late? Maybe he's screwing his secretary.

A: What?! (Then the women would walk off in deep concentration. First, she would be appalled that I said such a thing. Then, she would start to wonder if it were possible her husband was actually having an affair. Either way, she would never ask me how I was doing again.)

There are certain rules women are expected to follow when chit-chatting. First of all, I find chit-chat useless and a waste of time. If I don't know you, I won't talk to you unless I find you interesting. That's probably why some people think I'm quiet or reserved.

Second, most women talk just to talk. Ladies want to tell other ladies their problems or issues in hopes that they will simply sit there, listen and wipe away their tears. I don't play that game! If you tell me your problem, I will give you a solution, whether you want it or not--that's just who I am and how I work. What's the point of bringing up a problem if you aren't looking for a solution! I just don't get that! And, to make matters worse, that's how most women operate. It's just stupid! If you tell me your husband treats you like shit, I'm going to tell you to find a better one! If your husband hasn't had sex with you in years, I will tell you to rape him or divorce his ass.

Because I don't follow the rules of chit-chatting, women often find me disturbed, weird, and a bitch. I can deal with that.


Anonymous said...

Men find you disturbed and weird too .... it's not just women.


Somewhat smaller D

Weenie said...

Thanks! I'm so glad there's a concensus!

Anonymous said...

Okay, so you don't engage in the useless chatter that many women (and men!) find so comforting, however I'm fairly certain that you wouldn't say anything like that to someone in the grocery store...or at least I hope so. Seriously.