Friday, April 10, 2009

Eyeliner Insult


Tonight, I not only insulted a friend, but I embarrassed myself beyond belief. It was a classic Weenie moment!


Tonight I was discussing the recent chick-flick Bride Wars, which features Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. In the movie, both stars look haggardly and tired. They both look like they've been poked with the ugly stick.
I was sitting at a table with my running buddies describing how Anne Hathaway's eyeliner made her eyes look puffy, tired and worn out. This is exactly what I said:

"Who in their right mind wears eyeliner on the inside of their bottom eye lid? It looks horrible. Who would do that?" I asked looking at M and her husband. Then, I looked over at Cole, who was sitting directly in front of me. She was wearing eyeliner exactly the same way Anne Hathaway does in the movie. Doh! I mean a really big DOH! Open mouth, insert foot! So, I quickly turned to Cole and, in hopes of making things better, I said, "Well, Anne Hathaway is old and you're not so, so, so you don't look old and haggardly like she does in the movie; I mean, not that you look old and haggardly with your eyeliner on the bottom lid, because you're not old." The more I talked the worse it got! M and her husband were sitting beside me laughing their asses off. They were in hysterics--to the point of the ugly laugh-cry. I felt like a moron for insulting Cole and insinuating that only a stupid woman would wear eyeliner on the inside of the bottom lid. I wanted to hide under the table.



I'm sure it would have been absolutely hilarious if I hadn't been in my own skin. But I was. And, I felt bad for insulting Cole to her face.


Whatever! She knows who I am and how I am. She should be used to my tackiness by now!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're a moron ..... but your friends love you anyway !!
And if they don't love you, f*ck 'em !!

he he he ....

24 pounds lighter D

Princess Talula said...

Haha! I have this problem, too.

But, I must say, who wears eyeliner on the inside bottom of their eyes? Was she raised in C-view? That's just a make-up no no because it makes you look tired!

Weenie said...

I know, I know--serious make-up no no! I mean, if we were in the 80s maybe. But when you use eyeliner like that, it makes your eyes look smaller and less open. Whatever!

Eric said...

I seem to remember the comments being much harsher, more insulting, with a generous splash of the f-bomb. Have you started censoring your own thoughts? Please tell me little mama? What incredibly stupid, F&*^ing, kind of moron would do that? Oh you...

Anonymous said...

Oooo.... that seems harsh too .....

Slightly larger over a bad weekend D

Weenie said...

I would never, ever censor myself! That's for damn sure! I tell it like it is. However, there are days when I have a great story to tell and not enough time to tell it in its truest form. It's hard to write a detailed blog entry when you have a four year old little boy asking you what your favorite animal is 400 times! Don't worry Eric, soon you're world will be never be the same. Soon you will understand!