When our flight landed in Seattle, I was overcome with emotion. I was so relieved to be on the ground...a ground that doesn't shake all the time...a ground that will hopefully remain still...a ground that won't send me into a pannick...a stable, ground...a ground made of good, American soil!
But, at the same time, I had no idea what would happen next. I didn't know where I was going, or where I was staying, or when I would be allowed to return to my home, or when I would be allowed to see my husband again.
So, I sat there on the plane and cried. They were tears of relief, joy, and happiness, and tears of saddness.
I left Japan on my own accord. I left because I was given the option to evacuate, and I took it.
I was determined to stay in Japan, in my apartment, with my husband as a family.
But, on Monday, something changed.
On Monday, I was talking to Jude, and he told me something that made me want to leave.
This was our conversation:
Weenie: "Jude, how are you feeling? Are you happy or sad?"
Jude: "Mommy, I'm scared!"
Weenie: "Why are you scared?"
Jude: "I'm scared our house is going to fall on my head and kill me."
Weenie: "Why do you think that?"
Jude: "Because it keeps shaking, and it won't stop. I'm scared! I don't want to die!"
After that converstaion, I knew we had to leave. I couldn't have my sweet, little boy worried about dying. A 6 year old boy should never have to worry about dying. Ever. That's just not normal or natural.
So, we left.