A sigh of relief

As you know, I have asthma. Duh! Most of the time, I'm in control of it. Most of the time! But this week, it has been controlling me. I've been wheezing like a 79 year old smoker. Everything I do causes shortness of breath and wheezing: walking up a flight of stairs, eating, waking up, laughing too hard, pooping, chasing after Jude, I'm sure you get the picture. I've also been having horrible allergies. You know, watery eyes, and an itchy, stuffy, runny nose. So, with all these things going on, I haven't been able to run. Hell, I haven't felt like doing much of anything! Each breath seems like a chore! I've been taking my maintenance medications, as I should, but they haven't been helping. So, Monday I went to the doctor for some relief, and boy did I get it! Now I'm on Flovent, Serevent (my usual asthma drugs) plus Zyrtec, Singulair, Flonase, and Xopenex. The doctor also prescribed Prednisone, which is a steroid, but I'm not taking it because the other medications are doing a great job.

Now I'm feeling SO much better! PRAISE JESUS FOR MODERN MEDICINE AND GREAT DRUGS! I can breathe easily now without it wearing me out. I'm no longer wheezing. My allergies are in control and so is my asthma. I feel like the fat-ass lady that was sitting on my chest has gone on vacation, someplace very far away! I'm better now. But I still won't attempt to run for a week. The doctor told me to wait one week until all the medicines kick into full gear. So I'm waiting patiently!

If you have ever wanted to know what it feels like to have chronic, bunk-ass lungs like me, find a teeny, tiny, coffee stirring straw and try to breathe through it. That's how I feel when my asthma takes over. It sucks!

But now the suckage is over, I hope! I should be normal in a week or so. The doctor also scheduled me to meet with an allergist. I will have an allergy test performed along with some sort of breathing test that determines just how disease ridden my lungs are. It should be fun! I'll keep you posted!

So all you healthy people out there, don't take for granted what you have. I would give 10 million dollars to have properly working lungs. And for all you fuckers out there that smoke, I just don't get YOU! YOU have perfectly good, healthy lungs that work properly, and, yet, YOU pay 4 bucks a pack to fuck up those perfect, disease free lungs! I just don't get YOU! Come live in my shoes for a day, you would totally rethink smoking!

WHATEVER!