Monday, June 29, 2009

Accident report

I'm clumsy and accident prone. Those who know me are aware of this. My running buddies have seen me take a tumble on more than one occasion.

I've always been clumsy, but it seems to be getting worse as I age. I think I'm accident prone because I live in a world designed for people bigger than myself. Remember, I'm only 4 foot, 9 1/2 inches tall, and that's standing up straight.

Accident #1:
So, the day after we returned from our Great American Adventure, we went grocery shopping. No big deal, right?! Wrong! As I was putting our groceries into our mini van, I hit my elbow on the corner, on the inside part of the passenger door. There are 2 little, metal bolts that stick out, and I whacked my elbow RIGHT on them. Pain shot through my arm, and my hand turned blue and later went numb. I couldn't move my elbow, so off to the ER I went. Turns out it wasn't broken. Apparently, I hit my elbow right where everything is connected, like nerves and tendons. I hit the nerves and the swelling caused my forearm and hand to go numb. After about 3 hours the numbness stopped, but I still couldn't move my elbow for about a week because it hurt so damn bad. But I survived with no real issues or damage. To my arm, that is.

Accident #2
Note: Wearing Crocs in the rain is dangerous! They should put a warning label on them. It should read: LOOK, DUMB ASSES, DON'T WEAR THESE SHOES IN THE FUCKING RAIN. YOU WILL SLIP AND FALL AND BUST YOUR ASS! So, you guessed it. I busted my ass as I was walking out of McDonald's in the pouring rain. Husband had warned me about wearing Crocs in the rain. But as you know, I don't typically listen to anyone when it comes to anything. So, I dismissed his warning, slipped on my Crocs, and headed for the local McDonald's with Jude and Husband. As I walked out of the McDonald's, I slipped and fell right on my ass. Husband said he didn't see me fall, but he did see my pink, polka-dotted umbrella go down. He knew I had busted my ass. Luckily, there was a huge, concrete planter near me, and I tried to grab on to it. Unfortunately, all I got was a handful of potting soil and bonked my elbow. Yes, the injured one mentioned above. I scooped myself up and was soaking wet. Thankfully, no one was around to see me bust my ass. I survived the slip and fall with an aching tail bone and a seriously bruised elbow. And I learned my lesson: NEVER, EVER WEAR CROCS WHEN IT'S RAINING UNLESS YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF!


Anonymous said...

I, like you, am clumsy. (Hey, we're sisters, so what do you expect?) Crocs and wet weather do NOT mix, but I continue to wear them. They are so comfy! (Every time, I mean every time that I am wearing my Crocs, I slip on the wheelchair ramp at the local train station. You would think I would stop walking on the effing ramp, but nope, I haven't learned yet. Maybe after I fall?)

My ass hurts too. I fell, while wearing my Crocs,the other day. I have a lovely purple mark about the size of my hand on my right butt cheek where my rearend hit the sidewalk.

Weenie said...

See, it must run in the family! Or, perhaps YaYa and PoPo produced to highly uncoordinated beings! Whatever it is, we're screwed! We should just wear helmets, elbow pads, and wrist guards everyday for our own protection!

Anonymous said...

I hate to tell you this, but I do wear a helmet every day.

Weenie said...

Oh God! I always knew you were special! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Now you both know why Po-Po is not allowed to use electrical tools! There's always some injury when he works on his projects!!! Sorry, girls!!!


Weenie said...

I guess that explains it all. It's all PoPo's fault. Damn him!