Torn

Japan.  

Texas.

I love my life in Japan.  It's absolutely wonderful here, minus the earthquakes, typhoons, and radiation.

We've been here for almost 4 years, and not a day has gone by that I haven't thanked my lucky stars for being able to experience this awesome land.

However, this past year I spent about 2 months in the States.  Once when I was evacuated after the March 11th earthquake and again when we went to Texas for our summer vacation.  And being back in Texas, hanging out with all my Houston and WF peeps, reminded me of all I'm missing.  I had so much fun with BJ and her family.  I enjoyed every minute hanging out with YaYa and PoPo (my parents), telling silly stories and jokes and drinking beer on their boat dock, as Jude played in the bay.  Those moments meant so much to me, especially when I was so uncertain about how things would turn out after the earthquake.  And now, it's those moments that I miss most.

So, sitting here at the computer, in my 5th story apartment building, looking out and seeing the bright lights of Tokyo, Japan, I miss the quiet, stillness of Texas nights.  I miss the wild birds that live outside my parents' house, in the wetlands behind their house.  I miss the smell of fresh cut grass.  I miss being on BJ's back porch, sipping adult beverages and reminiscing about all the good times we've had together.  I miss the openness of South Texas.  I miss the sound of the seagulls as they fly overhead.

I miss all of that.

Yet, I can't imagine moving from this enchanted place that has given me so much.  I have met the most amazing people here.  I've embraced Japan wholeheartedly, as I have been embraced by its people.  Again, I've been so blessed here.

But how can I stay here when I'm constantly reminded of all I'm missing back in Texas?