Thursday, October 6, 2011

At the gym

I hate to admit this in writing, but I haven't been running.  The last time I ran was before the March 11th earthquake.  The earthquake totally fucked up my shit screwed up my schedule, especially with the whole evacuation back to the States for 4 weeks, and worrying whether or not my kid was going to start glowing green and continue hiding under tables every time he heard a loud noise.

Now, it's not that I can't run.  I'm just choosing not to.

So lately I've been going to the gym and working out.  I've been doing Body Pump and a few other workout videos with a friend.  Yes, I have friends.

Well, yesterday when I was working out, the foam mat I was lying on, while doing 80,000 crunches, smelled like stinky vagina.  Seriously!  I ain't joking!  And, I promise, it wasn't my stinky vagina I was smelling or my upper lip!


The last person who had used the mat must have had the nastiest smelling kooter ever and somehow managed to get their stinky kooter smell all over the foam mat I was using.  It was so nasty I'm sure it would have gagged a maggot, assuming maggots can gag.

I thought about telling the Japanese guys that work at the gym in the front office area, but I didn't know what to say.  Hey, this mat smells like rotten fish, wonna smell it?!  Or maybe, um, this smells bad, can I throw it away?  Or, hey, this mat smells like a stinky vajayjay, oh wait, you don't know what a vajayjay is, well, let me show you...   

Can you believe it?!  I'm at a loss for words.  I'm not sure what to say or how to complain about the mat.

And if I do complain about the mat, I'm sure I'll always be remembered as the-very-small-brown-foreigner-who complained-about- the-stinky-vagina-smelling-mat.  I'm not sure I want that label.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

THAT'S why you run. You don't have to smell sticky cooter out on the road !!

Big D