"...you're a vegtable..."

Last night we sung karaoke with a group of people. It was kind of a going away karaoke night. One of our good friends is moving back to the States, so we thought we'd say goodbye by singing. That's just what we do, how we roll.

Anywho, one of the members of our group was old, and I mean ancient. He was a nice, interesting man but hard of hearing, and he was slightly on the frail side.

So, we met at our friend's apartment, had some hors d'oeuvres and headed out to sing karaoke. Unfortunately, the hors d'oeurves contained milk, and, well, I'm lactose intolerant and so is husband. I thought my GI tract or Husband's bowels would be uneasy as a result. Thankfully, I was wrong.

As we sat there singing Michael Jackson's song Wonna Be Startin' Something, we smelled something rotten, something dead. The New Yorkers thought it was me, knowing my current digestive state. I mentioned I wasn't the one who made the offensive smell. Naturally, I blamed Husband. He, too, vehemently denied that he was the creator of the bad smell. All of our eyes met at once, and we immediately knew the offender: the old guy.

Keep in mind, the karaoke room was about the size of a small, walk-in closet. The room was cramped and there was little space to move around. So, the fart lingered in the air, burning our nostrils and making us gag. Luckily, we covered our mouths with my scarf, but the smell still managed to seep through. We had to open the door repeatedly to coax the smell out.

During this time, the old guy was oblivious to what he had created. He was oblivious to our actions. He probably just thought we were crazy.

After about 5 minutes, the smell dissipated, and we returned to singing. Shortly thereafter, there was another smell, similar to the first. Again, we opened the door for ventilation. This time the old guy caught my eye as I gave him a dirty look for creating such an offensive smell, in such a small, small place. He definitely had a guilty look in his eyes!

Note to self: the next time we sing karaoke there will be a no farting rule for everyone involved!