So, I'm sitting here on the computer listening to all the clangs, bangs and plops going on in the other room. And, no, it's not Jude making a ruckus. No, it's my cleaning lady. She's making all kinds of noise doing whatever it is cleaning ladies do, and then, poof, she walks out of the room carrying a bag of trash, some cleaning fluids and a couple of dirty rags. The result is astonishing. It's like she can do magic and make everything clean and perfect.
As you know, I've really wanted a cleaning lady for a while now. And, as luck would have it, I found someone who would be willing to clean up after us for an affordable fee. So now I'm sitting here, just as happy as a clam. I'm getting warm fuzzies just thinking about all the cleaning and organizing I don't have to do.
I even like her smell. It's somewhere between Clorox bleach mixed with potpourri with a hint of noodles and rice. I love it! (She's a Filipino cleaning lady and that's probably where the noodle and rice smell comes from. Shit, was that racist?! You can send your angry hate mail to my tech support or to my secretary (neither of which I have).)
All the husbands out there, listen to me. If you want your wife to love you and do naughty things to you on a regular basis, then hire someone to clean your house! Your wife will be energized, thankful and up for anything. I know I am!
Cleaning ladies make me hot, especially ones that smell like bleach and noodles!