Saturday, May 30, 2009

Can I marry Chick-fil-A?

As you know, I have a very unnatural infatuation with Chick-fil-A. I love it! I love the crispy chicken sandwich and waffle fries with lemonade. Those flavors on my tongue make we want to dance around like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory!

So, when we made it to Tucson, Arizona, on our 7th day of our Great American Adventure, we searched for our favorite food establishment...Chick-fil-A. After getting bad directions and driving for an extra 30 minutes to find it, we FOUND it there in all of its glory, waiting for ME! Keep in mind, I live in Japan where there are NO Chick-fil-A restaurants. Before this moment, I hadn't been to a Chick-fil-A in almost 2 years. I was going through serious, and I mean SERIOUS Chick-fil-A withdrawal!

We pulled into the parking lot, and I ran into the restaurant like a Wal-Mart shopper on the day after Thanksgiving, no one was safe! It was so wonderful to see the menu lit up by cheap fluorescent lighting. Then, behold...the cow mascot was there to greet me. It was like a magical dream. It was as if for one moment in time, I would get perfection. Everything I had imagined or dreamed about was going to happen just as it was SUPPOSED to happen. No oompa loompas were going to carry me away before I ate. A tornado wasn't about to rip through the place. It wasn't going to close. The place wasn't going to catch fire!

It was 8 PM on a Tuesday, and we had hit the jackpot: Kid's Night! Each kid's meal was free with the purchase of a an adult meal. I almost had an orgasm as I ordered. I was giddy and childlike as I waited for my food to be prepared. Then, I ate the #1 combo meal. I ate it with gusto. I devoured it like a crack whore devours her next hit of crack! I ate every last morsel of food and then got a FREE refill of Diet Lemonade. It was heavenly perfection! At that moment, I could have died with a smile on my face. Ahhhhh! Chick-fil-A!

Me with the cow!
Jude with the cow!
Did I mention how much I love Chick-fil-A?!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Driving Miss Daisy

After Mimi's house, we hit the road on our Great American Adventure. The first day we drove from San Diego to Tucson, Arizona. Here are some pictures I took along the way.

This is not Mars! This is southern California! The rock formations looked like they were from another planet.
Husband driving with gloves. Why is he wearing gloves, you ask?! Here is your answer: 1. Husband is weird and crazy; 2. Husband wanted to protect his hands from the sun. Heaven forbid if the man has wrinkly, man hands! (I told you he was crazy!)
Sand dunes in southern California.
Welcome to Arizona!
Jude watching the iPod in the car.
Yes, we took the Great American Adventure/Road Trip in a Hyundai. (At least we got really good gas mileage!)

Mimi's Ranch

While in southern California on our Great American Adventure, we stopped by and had a great visit with Husband's cousin Mimi and her family. They live in the hills of Escondido, California. They have a beautiful house and were kind enough to take us in for the night. We had a fabulous time sipping beer, picking oranges from their orchard, riding horses and picking lettuce for our salad. The food was amazing, and they were incredibly gracious hosts. We had a wonderful, relaxing evening with great food and great company.

Cousin Mimi, her husband and Husband.
All of us, including their dog.
Jude looking at a ladybug on his hand.
While we were sitting on the front porch enjoying the beautiful view, one of Mimi's neighbors came by on a horse. She offered to let Jude ride it, so he did.
Jude, the cowboy!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

San Diego Zoo

Jude, the Elephant Man!
Jude looking into the eyes of the orangutan. Jude sat there for what seemed like an hour, just staring at the orangutan.

For Husband

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

And you're still here
And you're still here...
(This isn't the original video, but it'll do.)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sea World San Diego

As you know, I had mixed feelings about going to Sea World San Diego. I love nature and all of God's creatures--except for mosquitoes and fleas, because they just bite you and spread disease. At first, I didn't want to go to Sea World because of the conditions in which the animals are kept. But, at the same time, I didn't want to deny my kid a really great experience because of my beliefs.

So, we went to Sea World San Diego on our Great American Adventure. Jude loved it. He stood and watched the polar bear for almost an hour as it swam in circles and paced back and forth like a crazy person locked up in a padded room in the loony bin. Jude also spent about an hour watching the penguins swim, poop and sleep. He was in awe at the animals' beauty and grace. He loved it, but then again he's only 4.

I, on the other hand, was quite disappointed and almost horrified by the small enclosures the animals were forced to reside. The poor polar bear was pacing and walking around in circles like a demented, crack whore. The dolphins were kept in small swimming pools, like the ones you find at your local Holiday Inn. The orcas were also kept in pools the size of bathtubs. I felt bad for the animals. I felt bad that they were pinned up to live a life of circles, a life full of stupid humans gawking at them through 4 inch thick glass. I felt bad that they were fed after they performed a stupid trick for the stupid humans who were oohing and awing. I felt sick to my stomach as I watched God's most glorious creatures confined and asked to do things to amuse me! I felt bad for the animals. I felt bad for the hopeless look in their eyes. In fact, I still feel bad about it.

Some of the animals at Sea World are rescues. The manatees were scarred and missing flippers. I'm sure death was imminent had they not been rescued by the people at Sea World. So, I won't complain about them.

But the rest of the animals seemed lost, confused, bored, and crazy. I felt bad that I was even there. I complained throughout most of the Shamu Show and annoyed Husband. He begged me to stop, but I found it difficult to sit there and watch beautiful killer whales as they lifted their trainers into the air to be rewarded with a handful of fish. I felt bad that they were forced to do things to get food. I wanted to rescue the enslaved animals and release them into the wild. I wanted them to be free and enjoy God's grandeur. But instead of doing something about it, I just bought 89 souvenirs, 3 buckets of popcorn, 1 frozen lemonade and a few refrigerator magnets to remind me of the horror.

The polar bear, duh!
Jude watching the Shamu Show, doing a weird hand movement that's supposed to resemble flippers.
An orca doing a stupid trick for the stupid humans, me being one of them!
Jude watching the penguins, duh!
Jude and Husband walking under the shark tank. Jude got scared and started crying. I guess he's seen Jaws WAY too many times!

La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles

After we visited with Bobik the Wonder Dog, we went to the La Brea Tar Pits with Czech Girl. La Brea used to be an old ranch in California. Then, tar and oil were discovered on the property. Inside the tar, prehistoric mammals were found perfectly intact. It is quite an astonishing area in the heart of L.A., filled with sights and smells like no other.

Here you can see tar bubbling up to the surface.
This is what it would have looked like if a woolly mammoth would have traversed into the sticky tar. It would have gotten stuck in the sticky mess and then slowly died of starvation. Cool, huh?!
Here we are standing in front of a giant statue of a giant prehistoric sloth.
Jude standing in front of the remains of a real prehistoric sloth.
We've been to lots of dinosaur museums, but this one was probably the most interesting. The air outside reeked of tar. It was amazing to stand there and watch tar bubble up to the surface. Since I took Rock for Jocks (Geology) in college for my science credit, I really enjoy this kind of stuff-- and so does my son.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

It's 2:43 AM and I'm wide awake!

So, I'm trying to beat jet lag, but it's winning, seriously winning! I went to bed about 9:45 PM right after we had a small earthquake. I know, what a welcome back! I was lying in bed almost asleep when the bed started to shake. At first I thought Jude was trying to climb into bed. I sat up and realized no one was there. Hmmmm, I think it's an earthquake, I thought. It only lasted for a few seconds. Then I hopped out of bed and turned on the computer to check and see if it was an actual earthquake, or if my jet lag was just playing Jedi mind tricks with me. Sure enough, there had been an actual earthquake several prefectures away. But since I live on the fifth floor of a large apartment building, I tend to feel every small earthquake that happens within a 100 mile radius.

I finally fell asleep, but then I woke up at midnight and again about 10 minutes ago. It seems that my bowel movements are still set to Houston, Texas time. That's right, I woke up to poop. What up wit dat??!! There's nothing worse than that! But at least it happened! Traveling 82 time zones kind of fucks with you, especially your bowels. And eating mass quantities of cheese on the airplane back to Japan didn't help either. I had to resort to the old stand by...prunes! So, this morning at 2:33 AM when they kicked in, I was glad and almost filled with glee. Look, there's nothing worse than being plugged up. Okay, maybe jet lag is worse, but the combination of the two is just plain horrible!

And now I'm awake, wide awake. I'm so awake I'm ready to reorganize my closet or make muffins or balance my check book. But instead of being useful, I'm blogging. Ahhhhh, it feels good to sit down and write the useless ramblings of my mind. It feels good to sit down and discuss serious life issues with you, like jet lag and constipation. Ahhhh, I feel back in my element.

So, while on our Great American Adventure, we reconnected with friends young and old! They all seemed to have one thing in common...they love this stupid, useless blog and my stupid, useless ramblings. Maybe they just said it to be nice, who knows?! Azul (a friend mentioned here) even mentioned that my blog offers him something that others just don't have. He said that most blogs out there are about peoples' daily happenings, and they have no relevance to him. But my blog, on the other hand, makes him laugh and teaches him about my experience as a midget, Mexican momma living in Japan. He said that my blog is funny, entertaining and a good read. That made me happy. It makes me happy to create something that others enjoy. Maybe it's the wanna be author in me, or maybe it's my personal way to give back to society. Whatever it is, I'm just glad I can share my experience living in Japan, and I'm glad others find it entertaining.

Look, my life is filled with really great stories, and I love to tell stories. That could be why I got an English Degree with an emphasis on creative writing and graduated Cum Laude. I love to write. I was taught in college to write about things you know and things that are close to your heart. If you write honestly and put your emotions on the page, people will connect with your story. So, that's what I try to do here. I try to tell you how it is and how I feel. PoPo (my father, duh!) mentioned that he doesn't like my honesty in my blog. He thinks I reveal too much and use too much profanity. He's probably right. But if I cut out the honesty and the profanity, you're left with just another blog on Blogger, and I don't want to become that. There's already enough of that! I want to be true and honest. As a person who might someday actually write the great American novel, I feel I have an obligation to my reader to be honest. I will continue to write about things that are close to my heart with an honesty that bothers my father. Who knows, maybe those two key elements make my blog different from all of those out there in the bloggisphere.

So, thanks to all my readers and friends who come here to get a little piece of Weenie! Oh, wait, that didn't come out right. That sounds dirty! Let me try that again...thanks to all my readers and friends who come here to get a little piece of my world, Weenie's World!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Bobik the Wonder Dog is still alive!

On day 4 of our American Adventure, we continued driving south to Los Angeles, where Bobik and Czech Girl live. We went to their house and had a great visit. We were so pleased to see our sweet, loving Bobo (aka Bobik) still alive and doing well. As you may recall, we owned him for about 4 years and then returned him to Czech Girl before we moved to Japan. Bobo is literally 18 million years old, and I'm not exaggerating here! We believe he's about 16 or 17 years old- that's 18 million years old in dog years. He's definitely slowed down since we saw him last, and his eyes are really clouded with cataracts. He's not as sociable as he used to be, and he didn't recognize us at all. But, we really didn't expect him to.

He seems to be doing well and is loved beyond belief. Czech Girl cares for him like a doting, loving parent. Everything she does is for the benefit of Bobo. She is truly a great, kind, wonderful dog owner. She should be made into a saint for the way she cares for Bobo. He is so lucky to have her as his pet parent.

Bobo is NOT trying to eat my head! I think he was yawning. It takes a lot of energy to meet and greet, especially when you are 18 millions years old!

Monterey Bay Aquarium

This is my favorite picture!

You can definitely tell that my son is my mother's grandson. He has an amazing ability to shop 'til he drops. The kid can spend hours, and I mean hours, in any gift shop analyzing, comparing and deciding which item is the best thing to buy. Needless to say, we spent more time in the 3 different gift shops at the Monterey Bay Aquarium than we did looking at the beautiful, fish filled aquariums. Whatever!

The Pacific Coast Highway

This was day 3 of our American Adventure. We were on our way to Monterey Bay Aquarium.

After we left Mr. & Mrs. Crash's house near Sacramento, we drove south on the Pacific Coast Highway, a road I had never driven before. Its beauty was stunning. I can see why people pay big bucks to live here. I would too, if given the opportunity.

We told Jude to look really, really, really hard and maybe he would be able to see our apartment in Japan. He never succeeded, but spent hours trying!

Jet Lag Sucks Big Fat Donkey Ding-Dongs!

(This picture was taken at Lola's house in Houston. They had a "welcome home" party for us along with a small petting zoo for the kids. According to Lito (Husband's father), the donkey was very relaxed so, he let his wanker hang out. And, since I'm me, a nasty pervert, I had to take a picture.)

So, it's 2:26 AM and we are all awake. We took a nap yesterday at 3 PM, and we forget to set an alarm. The result: we slept until 11 PM. Now, we are wide awake and cleaning our apartment, trying to organize all the new crap we bought while in America. Jude is in the bathtub shooting himself and the shower curtain with an itty bitty water gun. He shows no sign of fatigue. However, Husband and I are starting to fade. We hope to sleep from 3 AM to 6 AM. Then, hopefully, our sleeping schedule will be back on track.

Jet lag sucks big, fat, donkey ding-dongs!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Home Sweet Home

We are back in Tokyo, Japan. Yippee! I have never been so happy to walk into my apartment! It was a really, really, really, really long flight- 13 hours and 15 minutes to be exact, filled with screaming babies and way too many entrees with cheese. A lactose intolerant person, mass quantities of cheese, and a 13 hour flight don't go well together! But we survived and have already erased all signs of our trip. We've already unpacked, showered, and started the laundry. (This is when being OCD comes in handy!) The suitcases are already back in the closets.

My camera is full of pictures, and I'm full of stories I can't wait to share. However, first things first, we have to get our refrigerator and our pantry stocked with food. I don't think we can live for very long eating nothin' but condiments and stale crackers!

So, many thanks to all who housed us, fed us and entertained us along the way. You guys rock!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Baby Jude

So, I'm currently on YaYa's computer. I was emailing some people and discovered these baby pictures of Jude. Since they are so damn cute, I just had to share them with you. Enjoy!
A googly-eyed Baby Jude. This picture was taken after his bath. He's about 3 months old in this picture.
This pictures was taken at the hospital 2 days after Jude was born. By boobs were HUMONGOUS! You can also see my horrible acne on my second chin.
Baby Jude 2 days old. What a beautiful sleeping angel!
Baby Jude, just minutes old. I had just pooped him out. That's a face only a mother could love!

All good things must come to an end

So, as we prepare to leave America, I have discovered three new things:

A. I'm crazier than I thought I was;

B. Husband is just as crazy as me, except he hides it well; and

C. I'm incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful, caring friends and family members.

I'm one lucky bitch!

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Babysitter

So, today Husband and I are babysitting Princess, BJ's baby girl. BJ had to work today, so we've taken her baby hostage. We have several fun outings planned:

1. Wal-mart;
2. The Post Office- we've bought a ton of useless crap during this trip, and instead of hauling it through the airport, we've decided to mail it to ourselves;
3. Chik-fil-A; and
4. Lola and Lito's house.

Princess is almost a year old and loves to go out on adventures. So, we will oblige her. After all, what Princess wants...Princess will get!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Luby's Cafeteria

I love Luby's Cafeteria! As a child, we would go to Luby's on a regular basis, about once a week. I always looked forward to eating their creamy, ooie-gooey, delicious macaroni and cheese. IT IS THE BEST ON THE PLANET, seriously, I ain't lying!

So, today for lunch we are going to Luby's with BJ's grandfather, The Tallest Texan. I can't wait to dive into the macaroni and cheese.

Most people believe cafeterias are for those adults who wear diapers, have false teeth, and eat dinner at 4 PM. I should fit right in with the locals!