I survived a volcanic eruption!

As if earthquakes, tsunamis and typhoons weren't bad enough, now I have erupting volcanoes to deal with. What the freak??

So, this morning I woke up, looked out the window and noticed the air looked cloudy. I just figured it was fog or Tokyo pollution. I walked down to my car to take Jude to school and saw everything covered with a light gray mist. I thought it was frost or a light snow. When I approached my car, it was covered in a white/gray powder. Again, I thought it was ice. I got out my handy-dandy ice scraper and started to scrape away the supposed ice. As I was scraping, I realized it wasn't ice. Again, I thought it was little snow flurries that had found their home on my car during the night. I drove to the bus stop and saw a cloud of dust as each car passed me. Again, I thought nothing of it. When we got to the bus stop, all the moms were talking about a volcanic eruption. At first I thought they were talking about the volcano in Alaska. It's eruption is imminent. I listened to the conversations intensely and discovered that a nearby volcano had erupted in the night spewing ash 1 mile into the air. The mysterious gray stuff covering my car was ash from the volcano.

I came home, turned on the computer and read this:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090202/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_volcano

Holy crap! Now I have freaking volcanoes to deal with. What the hell??? I never even thought about having to dodge a pyroclastic flow until now. And I never thought I would have to deal with choking volcanic ash in the air. Since I have asthma, I have been told to stay indoors and not to do any physical activity outside for a week. The ash might aggravate my asthma causing me to suffer from an asthma attack. What the hell??!! This is just my luck! I move to a country that shakes under my feet, and now I can't run outside for a whole week because of the damn volcanic ash! What the hell!! I'm a Texan! I can't handle all this geological uncertainty crap! I don't need another natural disaster to worry about! And, how the hell do you plan for a volcanic eruption anyways?? I guess if a volcano erupts I'll just bend over and kiss my ass good bye! What the freak!

If you live in Texas, bend over and the kiss the ground you walk on. It will never shake, rattle, roll or spit molten lava or ash at you! Praise the Lord for that! Right now I'm hating all you lucky bastards that live in Texas!