Paranoia

Okay, last week we had 3 fairly large earthquakes. As you know, I'm a fruitcake. I'm a slightly deranged, germ-a-phobe who is always wigging out about any little shift in the ground. So last week, when we had 3 earthquakes in 3 days, I was beside myself.

To me, a midget, Mexican, momma from Texas, there is nothing creepier or scarier than an earthquake. Seriously! There aren't very many things in the world that are constant, that's for sure, but the ground you walk on should never shake, shimmy, roll, rattle or grumble beneath your feet. THAT SHOULD NOT happen! Ever! PERIOD!

Unfortunately, I live in Tokyo, Japan. Yes, in the Ring of Fire! So, earthquakes are common. But 3 EARTHQUAKES IN 3 DAYS?! What the freak?!

So, in preparation for the big one--you know, the biggest freaking quake where Tokyo falls into the ocean, and my apartment building collapses on me, and I'm stuck under a pile of rubble forced to drink my own pee and eat nothing but Vienna sausages to stay alive, yes-that ONE...well, I checked and rechecked my emergency supplies, stocked up on water and even thought about going to confession. I only thought about it though, and that's half the battle. I figure if the big one happens, I want to die with a clear conscience. But since I'm only a half-ass Catholic, I never made it to church. In fact, the last time I went to confession, I was 15 years old and preparing to become a confirmed Catholic. I remember having to say WAY more Hail Marys and Our Fathers than the rest of the kids in my confirmation class. I just figured I was slightly more evil and disturbed than the rest of the kids. I guess nothing has changed. I digress.

So, I'm scared shitless about experiencing the BIG ONE. I have no desire to ever feel what that is like!

But if it does happen, know that I am prepared.

And if my building does collapse around me, to find me, just look for all the dogs. Dogs love Vienna sausages!