Hey Sister! We were beginning to wonder if you were taken hostage by a sheik and turned into a sex slave!
How's life in the desert?
Merry Christmas...wait, scratch that...Happy Hanuka and Happy New Year. Since you don't celebrate Christmas, we didn't get you anything...but we ate a shit ton of bacon and thought of you.
Yes, my sister is Jewish. She's the only half-ass Mexican Jew I know, so that makes her pretty special.