Here we go again

Last year for New Year's Eve, we made a plethora of tamales. We are planning on doing the same this year.

So, if you drive by my apartment and smell dead pig, don't worry! We aren't performing some Satanic ritual on a dead pig. No! Instead, we are making a shit load of tamales.

The smell

Okay, Jude is over the flu but now has an upset stomach. Last night, he vomited all over his bed, the wall, all over me, and all over the bathroom. It wasn't projectile vomit, but it was still nasty. Our whole apartment smelled like rotten milk and stomach acid.

Because he felt so bad and his bed sheets were in the washer, we aired up his little Winnie the Pooh air mattress and let him sleep next to our bed. I figured if he hurled again, at least it would get on the air mattress and would be easier to clean up. Luckily, he slept through the night without puking again.

Wow! What a Christmas! First, Swine Flu and now this! Geesh! There's never a dull moment in Weenie's world!

Happy Birthday

...to little, baby Jesus!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

And, no...we did not buy a Japanese Christmas cake for the occasion.

Retaliation

Sister is pissed off that she has to spend her Christmas holiday confined to my apartment courtesy of the Swine Flu. So, to get revenge on those fucking pigs, we will be eating mass quantities of pork and wrapping everything in bacon.

This is what happens when you fuck with us!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, Happy Kwanzaa, Merry Festivas, Feliz Navidad, and Happy fucking New Year to you and yours!

We're Contaminated

You've guessed it! One of us has the H1N1 flu, and it ain't me. Actually, my poor, sweet, adorable, 5 year old has the Swine flu, and is attempting to kill the rest of us with his cooties.

Since we've all been contaminated with Jude's germs, we are laying low and have basically quarantined ourselves.

Sister is here to enjoy the festivities and remind us of the important things like Velveeta cheese and Fritos. YaYa and PoPo will be here in a few short hours to join us in our plastic bubble.

This should make for an interesting holiday season. Wish me luck!

Oink, oink!

The Mexicans of Japan are Filipino

****WARNING: Racist comments below. Read at your own risk!
This is what I want for Christmas: a Filipino maid!

Filipinos are like the Mexicans of Japan. Let me explain: in the States, Mexican men are usually hired as day laborers, construction workers, and trash picker-uppers. And, their Mexican wives are usually maids, nannies, office cleaners, and so on. In Japan, it is common to see Filipinos fulfilling these types of jobs. Keep in mind, I'm generalizing here. And, since I'm a half-ass Mexican, I can say these things and get away with it; however, if you don't like what I'm saying, please feel free to leave me hate messages below. Thanks!

Moving on!

For Christmas, I hope Santa brings me a really sweet, kind, well groomed, middle aged, Filipino woman to clean my apartment. I hope she calls me Miss or Ma'am and listens to me, following my instructions to the T. Is that too much to ask? I think not!

Oh, please, please, Santa! I've been a good girl, sort of!

Magnatude 5.1

So, there I was asleep in my bed having a completely bizarre-o dream where I was pregnant, in labor, and having an asthma attack (okay, maybe it was a nightmare) when all of a sudden I was awoken at 5:41 AM by an earthquake. This wasn't a little shaky-shaky earthquake. No! It was a move-the-whole-bed-and-shake-the-mirror-on-the-dresser-and-shake-the-closet-doors-earthquake. It was big enough and strong enough to wake me up from my horrible dream. And, long enough for me to think Oh, shit, it's the big one and locate my glasses on the nightstand next to the bed. By the time I found my glasses and stood up, it was over.

Husband was awake when it happened and said the bookshelves in our extra bedroom were shaking and swaying. Luckily, everything is tied to the wall, courtesy of Jude's old, baby, safety latches.

This earthquake was the biggest earthquake we've experienced since we moved here 2 years ago. And, it has my mind back on the possibility that we could experience the big one before we leave here in 2011.

So, I bet you can guess what I'll be doing later today. That's right. I'll be checking and rechecking our emergency supplies. I'll be winterizing our supplies just in case we have to haul ass out of here and hang out outside on a cold, winter morning. It would suck to be stuck outside freezing to death after surviving a massive, destructive earthquake. Don't you agree?!

At times like these, I really wish I was back in Texas where only hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and psycho killers could kill me. At least you can see those things coming, sort of!

Family Ties

Here is Jude and PoPo spending quality time together last Christmas.

I'm hoping for a repeat of last year's festivities.

The Crazies Are Coming

In 4 short days, these crazy people will be moving into my apartment for the holidays. All I have to say is, "Lord, give me strength or these people will be called home to you!"

Oh wait, you have to be Christian to go to heaven right? Sorry, Sister! You're shit out of luck!

(I guess I forgot to mention who these people are: (from left to right) Sister, PoPo (my dad) and YaYa (my mom). )

Coprolite

This is what my kids wants from Santa. Seriously! I ain't making this up!

Yes, it looks like a pile of crap because it is a pile of crap, prehistoric crap to be exact! YaYa (my mom) sent Jude a fossil kit in the mail. Inside the fossil kit was the book pictured below. It describes all different kinds of fossils. Luckily, we have all the fossils mentioned in the book except for the Coprolite. According to the book, "Coprolites are fossilized waste matter from ancient animals like mammals, fish, reptiles, invertebrates and insects." Next to the caption and picture of the Coprolite is a little cartoon of a prehistoric turtle taking a crap. It's really kind of cute.

So, now the kid wants fossilized crap from Santa.

(Since I took rocks for jocks (geology) in undergrad, I'm also into rocks and fossils, so I'm totally encouraging this.)

Just another day in Weenie's world!

Another Misadventure

As you know, every night after school we've been working hard to teach Jude how to read. We do worksheets, flashcards, spell words on the dry-erase board, and play silly spelling games, and so on. In the last few weeks, the light switch has been turned on in Jude's brain, and, basically, the kid can read almost every 3 letter word that exists in the English language. I'm very proud of this fact. We have both worked very hard to achieve this.

However, you should always be careful for what you wish for!

Yesterday I had a meeting at my Japanese elementary school, and Husband had to work late. Usually on meeting days (Wednesdays), Husband picks up Jude from the bus stop and takes care of him until I get home, but because of Husband's busy work schedule, I was forced to take Jude with me to my meeting. Big mistake!

Luckily, one of the younger teachers decided to play with Jude to distract him, so he wouldn't be loud or disrupt the meeting. I was thankful for his help. So, there I was trying to have a meeting with my teachers in the school conference room, trying to figure out my lesson plan for tomorrow's lesson, when all of a sudden I heard Jude sounding out the word ass and then writing A-S-S on the large, dry-erase board we were using for the meeting. Once I realized what the little stinker was doing, I gave him a dirty look with bulging eyes and asked him nicely if that was a good word he should be teaching people how to spell. He immediately understood that that was a naughty word and erased it from the board. After that he was quiet for about 2 minutes.

Then, I heard him spelling ass on the teacher's electronic dictionary. Once the word was entered into the mini-sized, electronic dictionary/translator, an automated voice said the word. He kept pressing the button over and over and laughing hysterically, listening to the word ass, being said by the electronic voice.

Once I realized what Jude was doing, I got up, grabbed him, and apologized to everyone in the conference room for the disturbance. But since most of my teachers don't speak English, or understand that ass is not a good word to use, they all starting saying ass, practicing and articulating the short a sound followed by the s sound. It was hilarious! The whole conference room of Japanese teachers was saying ass. I was trying to hold back my laughter and refocus everyone back to the lesson plan. Jude just sat back and laughed.

Just another day in Weenie's world!

They've got it all wrong

I love Japan. Duh! If I could, I would live here for the rest of my life. But sometimes I hear of Japanese traditions that just don't make any sense. This is one of them: the Japanese Christmas cake.

It's a tradition in Japan to eat a Christmas cake (similar to a fancy strawberry shortcake) on Christmas Eve or on Christmas day. Usually these cakes are ordered and prepared by the local confectionery shop. The cakes, depending on their size, can be pretty expensive. A small round cake (like the one pictured above) can usually cost about 3,000 Yen or about $33.

Last Christmas, Jude's school principal and I had the following conversation about Christmas cakes. It went something like this:

Principal: "Did you already order your Christmas cake?" she asked me.

Weenie: "What Christmas cake?" I replied nicely.

Principal: "You know, the one you eat at Christmas time," she said convincingly.

Weenie: "Um, we don't eat cake at Christmas time," I replied.

Principal: "Yes, you do...you know the one for the birthday," she said even more convincingly.

Weenie: "Um, sorry, but we don't eat Christmas cake, nor do we buy a birthday cake for Jesus," I replied slightly confused.

Principal: "Japanese people buy Christmas cakes and light candles and sing happy birthday because you do it," she said slightly flustered.

Weenie: "No, sorry, we don't do that in our house, and, in fact, I don't know anyone who does that," I told her.

Principal: "In Japan, it's tradition to buy a Christmas cake, put candles on top, sing happy birthday or Silent Night, blow out the candle and make a wish. You're telling me that you don't do that?" she asked, confused.

Weenie: "Nope, we don't do that," I replied trying not to offend her.

Principal: "We do that because we thought all Westerners did that," she said with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

Weenie: "Sorry, we don't do that. In fact, I've never heard of a Christmas cake," I replied.

After that, she walked away shaking her head, stunned and confused.

They've got it all wrong!

My World

...welcome to Weenie's world!

(This picture was taken at a local Japanese festival in August. These are just a few of my Japanese students.)

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to Me!

This is what Husband got me for Christmas and my birthday, which is on December 31st, by the way...thanks for asking! I will be looking forward to receiving your presents in the mail.

Since I picked it out and already attached it to my camera. S0, I don't have to wait until Christmas or my birthday. Yahoo!

And, this is a great present you and I can enjoy together.

Thanks Husband, you rock! You got me the most bestest gift ever!

For the cougar in you

These pictures are courtesy of Rolling Stone magazine, which I will be purchasing this month and hanging up these pictures in my bedroom like I did when I was a 13 year old, that is if Husband allows it. I'm not sure how Husband will feel waking up to this every morning.

Momma likes!

Finally a wet t-shirt I really, really like.

(By the way, Sister sent me the link to these pictures. You can thank her for them.)

YMCA

I'm sure my mother-in-law will be calling me over this one!

Poop

Shit happens!

Christmas with my family

Okay, my parents and sister will be invading my place for Christmas. There's nothing better than the joyous sounds of yelling and the smell of tamales being made. The combination will forever remind me of Christmas in Japan.