Thursday, December 15, 2011

On love and marriage

Love is a complicated thing.  That's for sure!  And it seems that this year has been a very tumultuous year for love and marriage.

This year we (Husband and I) have witnessed the end of 8 different marriages.  Husbands have cheated, wives have cheated, ex-wives have been assaulted, best friends have stolen husbands, wives got tired of their useless husbands sitting around doing nothing, etc.  In total, since Husband and I have been married (almost 9 years now), we have watched as 15 couples have gotten divorced (some are still in the process).    Crazy, huh?!

Some of our friends and co-workers are currently working on their 3rd husband/wife.  And I'm not sure if this is a cross-section of what's going on in America or if we just have a bunch a friends who have been unlucky in love.  But, either way, I'm shocked that so many people we know have had failed marriages.

What happened to for better or for worse?  What happened to to love and cherish from this day forward  until death do us part?  What happened to all of that?!

Look, I'm a hopeless romantic.  My mom and dad have been married for over 40 years.  Same goes for Husband's parents.  Both Husband and I grew up in houses where those vows were taken seriously and still are.

I know not every day of married life will be filled with rainbows and pink ponies and rose petals and kisses and hot hotel sex.  I know that!  And I hope I never fall out of love.  But if I do, I hope Husband looks past that and loves me enough for the both of us.  I hope he will love me in my worst moments, and I hope I will always cherish him and respect him and honor matter what.

Look, I understand some people shouldn't be together.  I get that.  I understand that some people are abusive and hateful and mean and ugly.  I get that, too.  And those people shouldn't be married, ever!

So, if you are considering marriage, please don't go into it lightly with high expectations of a fairy tale life where everything is peachy and wonderful all that time.  I assure you, that don't exist.  And don't get married if you have a bad feeling about it, or if you don't agree on the basics like money, how to raise your future kids, religion, etc.  And don't get married if you don't have respect for one another.

Marriage doesn't equal happiness, and it seems lately that marriage brings out the worst in people.


Sybil said...

Have you heard the expression, "The seven year itch" ? Some think it relates to evolution, in that by the time a child is 7yo he/she is able to tag around after mom and dad isn't needed in the same way.

I think only 50% of marriages last.

People change.

I don't think you should stay with someone who is abusive, but I agree, we seem to quit too easily.

Weenie said...

I think too many people get married for the wrong reasons and often become too selfish. But that's just my opinion. :-)