Friday, July 23, 2010

Which one?

Okay, so I already told you about my car accident 2 weeks ago. I told you how I stupidly crashed into a work truck because some jack-ass in a hurry honked his horn, and like a dumb-ass, I pressed the accelerator, never taking the time to see if someone was in front of me. Okay.

Well, during the investigation and questioning part, where the police, the investigator, the boss, the owner of the vehicle, the driver and God asked me what happened, I told them, kindly. Then, we walked over to my $900, 1995 Honda Civic and looked at the damage.

Well, in case you forgot, I paid $900 or 90,000 Yen for my car. It's a cheap, old car with scratches and dents all over it. Each corner of the car has been scraped, crashed or misshapen from the previous owners bad driving, hence the $900 price tag. When I bought the car, I was totally fine with its character. I felt I would never have to worry if someone hit it, or if I hit a wall or fence or post or anything for that matter. Considering most Japanese streets are the width of a king size mattress, I knew, inevitably, I was going to hit something. In fact, I gently hit fences on a regular basis, scraping my side mirrors. Because the streets are so narrow, I usually scoot all the way over to allow larger, commercial trucks the room they need. I'm not about to get in their way!

So, yes, my car has character, as I like to call it. Not to mention, both bumpers have seen better days, and they aren't actually attached as they should be, courtesy of a few inattentive gaijin (foreigners) crashing into me while I was not around. So, before the accident, I was only responsible for a few additional scratches to the car, nothing serious.

So, when the accident investigator wanted to know what damage was caused by the accident, he had to go on a treasure hunt. This was our conversation as we walked around my car looking for the damage caused by the day's accident:

Investigator: "Is this the damage?"

Weenie: "No, not this one."

Investigator: "Is this the damage?"

Weenie: "No, not this one."

Investigator: "Is this the one?"

Weenie: "Nope, not that one, either?"

Investigator: "What about this one?"

Weenie: "Nope, still not the one."

Investigator: "This one?"

Weenie: "No, sorry, not that one, either."

Investigator: "How about this one?"

Weenie: "No, not the one."

Investigator: "Okay, could you please show me the damage that was done today, only today!"

Weenie: "Oh, okay, no problem. Here it is."

After the search for the day's damage, I'm sure the driver, the police, the investigator, the owner, the boss and Allah, thought I was the worst driver in the world. I reassured them over and over I was not responsible for all the damage done to the car. I tried to tell them I bought the car that way. However, I don't think they believed me.

Just another day in Weenie's world!

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