Nightmare

So, last night I had a dream I was being chased down and hunted by Japanese vampires. They were like ninja vampires desperately trying to enter the building where I was. They were trying to get to me to eat me and my friends. Luckily, I survived.

Phew! That was a close call.

Hmmmm, Japanese vampires. I wonder if that's been done before!

Scared Skinny

I come from a good family. The kind that sits around telling stories and jokes while eating mass quantities of delicious, homemade tamales. The kind that would help you out in any situation, if you asked. The kind that pays taxes, works hard and never complains. The American kind!

I also come from a long line of over eaters. I know this. It is evident when you attend a quinceanera, a wedding, or a funeral which involves my family members. My family loves food. I love food.

But, unfortunately, a love for food can lead to obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, strokes and so on. I know this, and I know what I can become if I make unhealthy choices.

And, I don't want to become that.

And recently, I've been eating way too much crap food. I've also stopped exercising regularly. But all of that is about to change.

I'm going to try to be a better example for my son. I'm going to exercise 5 days a week and make healthier choices when it comes to food. I'm going to get back on that wagon and stay on it.

After all, I know what I can become.

Spring in Texas

Thank Big D for the picture. I love it!

Jealousy

I'm from Texas, duh! Right now in Texas, it's spring. Right now in Tokyo, Japan, it feels like winter, seriously! It snowed briefly last night, and now it's raining-not hard rain, but just an annoying all-day-light-raining that never seems to stop. And, it's 37 degrees. What the freak?!

I'm ready to see the sun. I'm ready to start running again. I'm ready to play outside, but Mother Nature obviously has other plans. Apparently, Mother Nature is trying to kill me. She's providing this crappy weather so I'll go stir crazy, catch cabin fever and later eat my couch, only to choke on it and die. See! She really is trying to kill me, slowly, one day at a time. What a bitch!

Per your request

This is how you crap in a hole:
(period).

Sometimes I crap in a hole...

and it looks like this:
(period).

Near Nagano

When BJ and her husband came to visit, we took a trip to Nagano prefecture to see the snow monkeys. I took these pictures along the way.

Lately, everyday has been dark, foggy, rainy, wet and dreary. Sometimes I wish I were back in Texas, feeling the hot rays of the sun.

Guam, the 2nd time

This time when we went to Guam, we bought some cheap-o under water cameras. Here are some of the keepers:

Jude and I snorkeling without the snorkel.
Me, relaxing in the pool.

Sister and I relaxing in the pool. Jude took this picture.

Jude and I hanging out in the pool.

Jude about to go down the slide.

Plastic People

****Warning: If you've had a nip and a tuck, I'm about to offend you.
Recently, a bunch of women I know have had plastic surgery performed. Most have had the usual boob job or boob lift, lipo, and tummy tuck, and I just don't get it.

Our bodies are not perfect. No one's is. And that's okay!

I don't understand why these women would put their lives at risk for elective surgery to supposedly enhance the way they look. Is it that important? I think not!

I think these people have their priorities all screwed up!

Look, I certainly am not perfect. I could write 17 paragraphs about what's wrong with my body. I could start with my giant nose, my saggy boobs, my jelly roll or my flat ass. I could go on and on, but I won't.

I've accepted my flaws and realized that they aren't really flaws. Instead, they are what make me me, and that makes them cool, because, well, I'm cool, damn it!

Yes, my nose is big, but it makes me looked distinguished. Yes, I have a spare tire around my waist, but at one point it housed my son, and for that, I don't mind so much that it's there. Plus, I can always wear a girdle. Yes, my ass is as flat as a pancake, but at least I'll never have to worry about my ass needing its own zip code. Yes, my boobs sag down to my waist, but that's okay, because they provided nourishment to my son for the first year and a half of his life. Plus, I can always hoist them up with Victoria's Secret Angel Bra the Ultimate Lift.

Why can't we (women) just be content with what we have? Why do some women feel the need to put their lives at risk to try to achieve something that will never happen...perfection?

I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be. I'm cool just the way I am...healthy and happy!

Father-son conversation

So, the other day I was getting ready to go somewhere, and I heard this:

Husband: "Jude, why are walking like a cowboy? You look like you are straddling a horse. Do you have sticky balls?"

Jude: "No."

Husband: "Then why are walking like that?"

Jude: "Just because."

Husband: "Is your scrotum sticking to you?"

Jude: "What's a scrotum?"

Husband: "Your testicles."

Jude: "Oh, okay. You mean my balls?"

Husband: "Yes, your balls. Are they sticking to your leg?"

Jude: "Nope."

Husband: "Are you sure?"

Jude: "It's dry down there."

Husband: "Where?"

Jude: "My testicles are stuck to my leg."

Husband: "That means you have sticky balls."

Jude: "Oh, then yes. I have sticky balls."