A day in the life of Weenie-sensei

I teach at a local Japanese elementary school. I'm the ALT (Alternative Language Teacher). I love it. The kids crack me up. They are always doing something amusing. For some reason, I get along great with kids 12 years old and younger (probably because we are on the same level).
Here is my 5-2 class (fifth grade, 2nd class).

The word of the day is wanker

***By the way, pictured above is a summer sausage. Please read below to understand its significance. Also read the comments. (This comment was added after I published this post.)

Today I decided to work out with Cindy Crawford. I mean, I decided to do her workout video, The Next Challenge, on DVD. It was raining, and I just didn't feel like running in the rain, so I pulled out my 3 pound weights (don't laugh) and my Cindy video. Since Husband was home, he decided to join me in the festivities.

As the video began, we started jumping around, following Cindy's lead. After the first jump, Husband ran away to our bedroom and asked me to pause the video. I did as requested. (Keep in mind, it was a lazy Monday morning (we were all off today), so all of us were in our pajamas. I was wearing pajamas with a sports bra (because I know better) and husband was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt.) Turns out Husband's man parts were jiggling around like summer sausages hanging in a Brooklyn deli, blowing in the breeze on a warm, windy day, during an earthquake. He couldn't take all the jiggly-wiggly and decided to put on a pair of snug briefs. I laughed and said, "Is your wanker flopping around like a dead fish?" Jude heard this comment and asked, "What's a wanker?" I briefly mentioned that a wanker is a slang word Mommy uses to describe Daddy's penis and for Jude not to use that word outside our apartment.

Needless to say, Jude has been saying wanker all day, non-stop. He's even made up a song about it!

Just another day in Weenie's World!

(By the way, Husband is quite pleased that I chose to describe his man parts as "summer sausages," as opposed to Vienna sausages.)

(Hee-hee.)

Soaked

We spent all day at DisneySea. It cost 6,500 Yen per adult and 4,500 Yen per kid to enter the park. So, with the current Yen rate, we ended up spending a shit load of money. That's fine. When you go to Disney, you know you are going to drop some serious cash. But, out of all the wonderful Disney attractions available at DisneySea, the boys like this fountain the best.

So, after lunch Running Babe, Husband and I decided to ride the Tower of Terror. Since the kiddos were too small to ride, we left them with Marathon Man. Below is the result:
The boys played in the shooting water and got soaked, all the way down to their undies!

The kiddos spent the rest of the day sloshing around in their wet clothes and shoes. They loved it!

The happiest freaking place on the planet

*****Warning! These are boring DisneySea pictures. This blog post is for YaYa and PoPo (my parents). Therefore, the rest of you must suffer through this! Sorry!

As you know, this weekend we went to Tokyo DisneySea. We went with Running Babe and her family. Since Jude and Bean are BFFs (best friends forever), we thought it only fair that we go together. And I'm glad we did, because I had the best time ever! DisneySea is the happiest fucking place on the planet! And I ain't lying!
Bean, Marathon Man, Running Babe, Husband, Jude, and me.
Me with Jiminy Cricket. It was kind of creepy when he grabbed my hand and forced me to pose. WHATEVER!

Me with Cruella Deville.

The boys with Indiana Jones.

On the monorail.

Holy Crap, I got a new reader!

Welcome, welcome, welcome! I'm so excited you've decided to go on this ride with me. My life is filled with amazing moments in travel and motherhood. However, I must worn you, I have a potty mouth, like a sailor, like a sailor who has dropped the biggest, effing, sledge hammer on his big toe. So, don't say I didn't warn you.

So, welcome to Weenie's world. Enjoy your stay!

No longer comments, now smart ass remarks

Instead of adding lovely COMMENTS to each post, now all you smart ass mofo's can add your smart ass remarks. I thought it was a more accurate label for all your little tidbits.

Thanks again for your input! It makes me giggle.

Japanese style

This weekend we stayed in a Japanese style suite. It was the first time I had ever stayed in a room like this. Typically, we choose Western style hotels and hotel rooms. But this time, we thought we would live on the edge and try it out. This is where we stayed:

Pretty nice, huh?! Well, everything was great...except Japanese people sleep on the floor on futon mattresses, and, well, we slept on the floor, too. Except I'm not used to sleeping on the fucking floor. I'm used to sleeping on my Vera Wang Serta mattress. Needless to say, I didn't sleep worth a shit and woke up with a crick in my neck and a sore shoulder. I don't see how Japanese people can sleep on the freaking floor every day! No wonder why they always fall asleep on the train. They're freaking exhausted!

The happiest effing place on earth!

So, we're back from our DisneySea Adventure. We had a blast. We ate our weight in popcorn, rode rides, played, and enjoyed every square inch of Tokyo DisneySea. It surpassed my expectations and was definitely MORE enjoyable than Tokyo Disney Land.

I have a poop-ton of pictures on my camera, but I haven't had time to download them. And now we are off to a bar-b-Que. Don't worry, I'll post them soon.

Patience grasshopper!

DisneySea

We are headed off to Tokyo Disney Sea today. We will be staying in a hotel near the resort and then going to DisneySea tomorrow. Jude is very excited, as am I. We've never been there before. So, I won't be posting for a few days. But I'm taking my camera, and I'm sure an adventure is heading our way. I'll fill you in on all the juicy details when I return.

Ja ne (see you!).

Something is burning

Husband is my rock. He's the practical, sane one. He's the Ying to my Yang and all that other mushy shit. But sometimes the man does amazing things that make me wonder about him.

For example, I woke up this morning in Jude's bed, after a night of musical beds with the kid. I woke up to the smell of something burning. As first, I dismissed it, thinking it was burning toast or Spam. Yes, Husband likes to fry Spam on a regular basis. I often leave my apartment smelling of fried pork product. I'm sure Anthony Bourdain would find my aroma irresistible. I'm sure of it. Moving on. So, this morning the smell of burning something penetrated my nostrils like a shot of Afrin nose spray. My self preservation mode kicked in, and the burning smell actually woke me up. So, first I was pissed off that I was awake at 5:15 AM, after a night of musical beds with Jude. Second, I was confused and perplexed by the burning smell. It wasn't the fried pork smell. I know that smell. I know that smell well! I can sleep through THAT smell. No, this smell was different. It smelled like real burning something.

So, I got up to investigate. I walked through the hall, and the smell overwhelmed me. It was thick- so thick I could taste it. I saw Husband standing in the kitchen, washing dishes, and the vent fan above the stove was on. Here is what was said:

Weenie: "What's that burning smell?"

Husband: "Oh that, I was cleaning the grill, and I think it got too hot."

Weenie: "You were cleaning the grill?"

Husband: "Yea, it was dirty from last night."

After this conversation, I walked way for fear of choking the man to death. Seriously, does the effing grill need to be cleaned at 5 fucking AM? Is it necessary to remove all the chunky, congealed meat juices at 5 AM? Can't that wait until later?! WHAT THE HELL! Look, I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wonder about the man!

And since I have asthma, burning things usually make my symptoms worse. Almost every morning after the frying of the Spam, I'm forced to use my inhaler. It's like microscopic, fried pork pieces float through the air, coating my bronchial tubes, suffocating me. I have that same feeling now. Except it isn't fried pork, instead, it's grilled beef bits aggravating my asthma.

(Sigh!)

So, consider this Husband's 407th attempt on my life.

(Another sigh, through wheezy, whistling lungs!)

Just another morning in Weenie's World!